by adam mathes
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“Why didn’t I do that? God.”

“It’s weird because I think of you and [ redacted ] as very different, and yet you have this in common. The only things you ever regret are not sleeping with girls.”

“Yeah. That’s the only thing worth regretting.”

“I mean, just, when I think of all the fuck-ups in your life, ranging from girls you did sleep with, to girls you dated, to jobs, to just general poor life decisions…”

“I don’t regret any of that.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you regret not sleeping with girls that you could have?”

“Nope. I do regret not coming up with a good nickname when I was younger and sticking with it through the past ten or fifteen years to create a better web identity.”

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