by adam mathes · subscribe · RSS · archive
Ribbit
This was how the start of Chibi-Robo went for me.
Chibi-Robo can not talk, only hold up a sign for “yes” and “no,” so I had to speak for him.
(Chibi-Robo and Telly emerge from a metal contraption into the living room. A birthday party with Jenny and her parents is in progress.)
Telly: We’re here to make you happy.
Telly: I’m Telly. And this here is Chibi-Robo.
Father: Amazing!
Jenny: Ribbit!
Dog: Woof! Woof!
Telly: Oh! Hey, is this a birthday party?
Father: You got that right!
Telly: Uh-oh, Chibi-Robo! It looks like we’ve come to the party empty handed. We need to find a present for Jenny, and fast! Oh! How about that flower, Chibi-Robo?
Chibi-Robo: [ no ]
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ]
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (Can’t we give her something else instead?)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (The girl in the frog suit really doesn’t want a rose.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (It’s not appropriate for a 3 inch tall robot to give a rose to a girl for her eighth birthday.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (It’s a rose. It has way too much sexual and emotional symbolism.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (She’s eight - and wearing a frog suit - it can’t possibly be perfect for her.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (Look, I fucking play video games so I don’t have to do thing like give roses to girls. Or because I’m incapable of giving roses to girls. Both. Whatever. This isn’t about my love life.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (Do you know the last time I gave a rose to a girl? It didn’t go well.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (Giving her that rose will just make me feel guilty for not giving flowers to girls in real life more often. Or like, ever. Can’t we please move on?)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (I hate you.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ no ] (Seriously, I hate you.)
Telly: Really? Are you sure? I think it’s perfect for Jenny…
Chibi-Robo: [ yes ] (I hate you so much.)
Telly: Well then, I’ll leave the rest to you Chibi-Robo.
[ Chibi picks up the rose and walks over to Jenny. ]
Telly: Chibi-Robo - give the rose to Jenny!
Chibi-Robo: [ no ]
Telly: Huh? You’re not going to give it to her?
Telly: Chibi-Robo - give the rose to Jenny!
Chibi-Robo: [ yes ] (Please understand this does not mean I’m trying to begin an amorous relationship with you.)
Jenny: [blushes] Ribbit ribbit ribbit!
Telly: You got 20 Happy Points!