by adam mathes
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Things I'll Miss

I ended up eating ButterBurgers because Dakota met a cowgirl at the convenience store and she needed a ride to her show.

I won’t be able to write things like that after I leave Texas.

Also, a quick “screw you” to everybody that donated to the Adam Makeover Fund. You know who you are. I’d never have gone through with this if my so-called friends didn’t give money to this, but, as we all know, guilt is my only motivating factor. So, yeah. You guilted me into this and it’s probably going to be a disaster.

Remember that the next time you donate for a “worthy cause.”

(That means you, Evan. And you, Klara. And you, other third person who I don’t know who gave money because Ben didn’t tell me. And, well, I think that was it. Yeah, I know, it doesn’t take many to guilt me into something.)

PS - Fuck you, Ben.

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