by adam mathes
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Vs Brand X

I keep envisioning a 1950’s style commercial -

An announcer in a grey suit says, “In test after test, when given a choice between Adam Brand and Brand X, women chose Brand X 100% of the time.”

And the audience claps, because of course this commercial is in front of a live studio audience because it’s during an old 50’s variety show, and then they cut to testimonials from women that discuss my lesser points, especially in light of Brand X’s superiority.

“Colors are so much brighter with Brand X. With Adam, everything was dull and faded.”

“Adam is unscented, but Brand X smells like a field full of fresh flowers.”

“It’s just that Brand X makes me feel so much better about myself.”

“Adam Brand made my kids cry.”

“I know Brand X is environmentally friendly, while Adam Brand has been proven to destroy the ozone layer. And I read that they destroy old growth forest to make it.”

“Brand X is proven to be effective. I’m not sure, but I don’t think Adam Brand actually does anything.”

“Adam Brand only comes in an inconveniently large bucket size, and who wants to be stuck with a bucket of Adam for the rest of their life? With Brand X now available in easy to handle single-use packets, why even consider it?”

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