by adam mathes
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Running Commentary

I never got around to writing my BEST OF EVERYTHING 2002 list.

But here is the (lame) attempt I made last week to keep a running commentary on the stupid news for some side-webloggish project that I will not really follow through on, like every other side project I semi-start.

Missionary Style - Government funds marriage proposals - Jan. 2, 2003 -

Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson announced over $2.2 million in grants to 12 states and a variety of religious, nonprofit and tribal organizations to advance the nation’s child support enforcement system.

Among them are two church-affiliated organizations and a state agency that emphasize the importance of a healthy marriage to a child’s well being.

The Marriage Coalition, in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, received $199,994 to test a curriculum for poor single parents that emphasizes the value of marriage and child support.

Because nothing says “the government loves you” like tax dollars spent on local churches to lecture you about how if you’d only find a nice husband, you’d be so much better off and you could stay home and cook and clean like you’re supposed to, and oh, did you know that there are plenty of nice, single, young men who have accepted Jesus who’d love to meet you? Every Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, at a church near you.

We all agree that sounds great! But what about the separation between church and state?

Bush said, however, that no government money “will be used to directly support inherently religious activities,” an assertion that has not satisfied skeptics.

The government has promoted marriage in the past, primarily through the 1996 welfare overhaul, but it has faced restrictions in giving money to religious organizations to advance that same goal.

Some Democrats in Congress object to the prospect that church groups will use the tax dollars to proselytize, and in doing so violate the constitutional separation of church and state.

Proselytize? No, no, this is about promoting marriage! Republicans and their “marriage solves all” stuff. Democrats are just afraid to say what we all already know - the GOP is the party of boring, unsatisfying, monogamous missionary-position sex.

Granted, Democrats are the party of the “what, who doesn’t get an extra-marital blowjob or twelve every once in a while?” and, also, the party of “we have to give the condoms away to twelve year olds because we can’t depend on the high schoolers that get them drunk and take advantage of them at parties to have one with them.”

Speaking of an unfulfilling sex life, ladies, the drug industry may be creating a problem to create a pharmaceutical solution for as we speak.

Nobody Said You Were Supposed to Enjoy It

BBC NEWS | Health | Myth of female impotence ‘created’ -

Some doctors say coining the phrase “female sexual dysfunction” makes an illness out of normal changes in women’s sexual feelings which may happen after childbirth or being with the same partner for many years.

Dr Sandra Leiblum, professor of psychiatry at Robert Wood Johnson Medical School said: “I think there is dissatisfaction and perhaps disinterest among a lot of women, but that doesn’t mean they have a disease.”

Finally, onto the economy, where the new economic team at the White House is already coming up with innovative solutions to our jobless recovery.

See No Layoffs, Hear no Layoff

Shooting the messenger: Report on layoffs killed

The Bush administration, under fire for its handling of the economy, has quietly killed off a Labor Department program that tracked mass layoffs by U.S. companies.

Well, I’m sure something as big as this was prominently announced, right?

In fact, news of the program’s termination came only in the form of a single paragraph buried deep within a press release issued on Christmas Eve about November’s mass layoffs.

But, I’m sure they had a really good reason.

It simply said that funding for the program had dried up and that the Labor Department’s Bureau of Labor Statistics was unable to find an alternative source of funding.

Can I get a job at the Daily Show now?

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