by adam mathes
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Name That Metafilter

From the people who brought you the hit game, “Gay, Jock, or Yuping!” (1), it’s NAME THAT METAFILTER!

It’s the brand new party-game sensation that all the a-listers are talking about! Here’s how it works:

One player gets to be the Haughey. The Haughey should be familiar with Metafilter, and like the real Matt Haughey, be able to dance, dance, dance!

The Haughey is responsible for running the game. First, he must choose a thread. The thread should:

  1. have at least 50 comments
  2. be at least two weeks old so it’s not fresh in everyone’s mind

Also, it should be filled with lots and lots of moronic comments by idiots and have a poor signal to noise ratio, but that goes without saying.

Now the game works a little like name that tune: the Haughey reads a comment and the players listen. Once they are ready, they have to buzz in and say “BAYLINK” or “NOT BAYLINK.”

The Haughey then tells the contestant whether he is right or not.

The dollar amount awarded for each question declines the more words are read. The actual dollar amount each comment is worth is decided by the Haughey.

If the Haughey reads a comment by Rebecca Blood, and a contestant buzzes in before the trademark closing “rcb” and says “Goth Girls Forever!” they get the “daily double.” The daily double works much like in Jeopardy. The contestant wages a dollar amount, and then the Haughey reads the comment immediately following Rebecca’s, and that contestant gets to answer.

Obviously, the Haughey’s job is very important since he must choose which messages to read. As people become better at the game, the Haughey can choose to change from Baylink to another metafilter poster.

In order to help those who may be confused, I’m including a short segment of a sample game: Although it is recent, I’m going to use the Teen cam girls as kiddie pr0n thread for this example, just so you can get a feel for the game. I’m leaving out dollar values and some of the tedius details that the Haughey would normally keep track of, also, no description of who is saying what because I’m lazy and tired. But you should be able to get a feel for the game:

“Hello and welcome to NAME THAT METAFILTER. This round our thread is Slutty Underage Girls With Webcams and the Undersexed Pedophile Losers who Love Them.” “The thread started with

A new kind of child porn? Teenage girls set up webcams, ostensibly to extend their social network through interactive technology. Sick bastard male voyeurs create Web site so they can spy on all their "hotties" simultaneously. Thank heavens for little girls? Some of these girls are only 14, and look nothing like what a 14 year old should look like!
posted by johnnydark at 10:27 AM PST

Let’s get to our first comment:

People are too busy trying to shelter their kids from sex rather than teaching them about it. None of my friends were ever talked to about sex by their parents, yet quite a few of them were having frequent sex even in the seventh and eighth grades.”

“Not Baylink.”


If the pictures are acceptable it's an issue of being used on a site that the kid/parent approves of. I would expect a similarly pissed reaction on a KKK site. As someone else said, finding a busty 16yr lass attractive isn't wrong or at all near paedophilia. They are attractive. If they don't want to be on the site that's the offensive thing - but sexual appeal isn't. Do you find them attractive Mathowie? If so, I don't think that's wrong.


“Ooooh, I’m sorry, that’s not Baylink.”

"A 14-year-old doesn't have the legal right to exploit herself. Somebody needs to talk to the parents of these kids, who are showing either gross neglect or terrible judgment by serving up their children to an international audience of pervs."


“No, no I’m sorry, that was RCADE. RCADE. Not Rebecca Blood.”

“They just both just sound so pedantic though…”

“Yes, yes, they do.”

"Ok, well, courtesy of that comment, and Optamystic's delightlful little dalliance with Pikachu (and hey, hon, you got any free time to spend with *me* later? :-), let's delve a little deeper into the underlying topic here, since even the people who think this is "a little creepy" don't seem to be wigging out..."

“Oh, definitely Baylink.”

“You’re right, it’s a Baylink!”

"my question is: where are the parents? I wouldn't allow this."


“Yes! That was by Rebecca Blood, and now it’s time for our daily double.”

"My, my, my... so many things to comment on. Glad I got here late. :-) (and, having finished this reply, my mad apologies to the people who have to read it... :-})

“Not Baylink”

“Oh, I’m sorry, that was a Baylink.”

"Oh, and one other point: hush-hush putting numbers on the girls? That site is actually *protecting* the girls;"


    I don’t know, it seemed a lot funnier in concept. Hey, at least it’s not another stupid page changing the design to another page for April Fools

  1. Sophomore year of college I realized all of my male friends were either gay, jock, or Yuping. This was interesting since I am neither gay, jock, nor Yuping. So I thought it would make a really great game show. One of my friends comes out, the contestants ask questions, and then they have to buzz in once they know if the’s gay, jock or Yuping. Ian is the lightning round. Yuping keeps coming out every other round in a different outfit, but the contestants immediately buzz in and know it’s him. An online play-along version may eventually get made.

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