by adam mathes
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Marvel vs. DC

Cartoon Network has been showing commercials for the new Justice League cartoons a lot, so I’ve been thinking a lot about their precursor, the old Superfriends cartoons.

This is of course what I spend lots of time thinking deeply about, not anything important or useful like, oh, what am I going to do with the rest of my life, or oh, hey, make sure you study for midterms. Nope, just cartoons.

Anyway, I remember watching both Marvel’s Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends as well as various incarnations of DC’s Superfriends.

The thing is, the Superfriends never really seemed like friends to me. At all. Where as Spider-Man, Firestar and Iceman seemed liked pals! They really were the spider-friends.

I could never quite put my finger on why that was. In retrospect though, I think it’s because in the origin of the spider-friends episode, Spider-Man removes his mask and reveals his unexpected secret identity of Peter Parker as soon as they decide to team up. Iceman and Firestar then reveal themselves to be Bobby Drake and Angelica Jones, respectively. Friendship requires reciprocated honesty and trust. You can always count on Marvel comics to have good, wholesome values.

But did the Superfriends ever reveal their secret identities to each other?

I don’t ever remember that happening.

Of course, does Aquaman really even have a secret identity? Doesn’t he have like gills and webbed feet or something? It’s probably kind of hard to hide that.

And I guess Batman and Robin know each other’s secret identity, but that’s just because they live together; that shouldn’t count.

Come to think of it, does Wonder Woman even have a secret identity? Barbara something? I can’t remember.

And if Hawkman had a secret identity, I don’t think anybody would care.

And I don’t think Jayna and Zan had any other clothes, so they were always the Wondertwins. And I guess you can’t have a secret identity if your super-hero name is “Jayna.”

The point is the Superfriends were not really super or friends, but the Spider-friends were friends, and, umm, Spiderey, and the Wondertwins were absolutely retarded.

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